Somatic Trauma Reconciliation + Pleasure Reclamation

As INDIVIDUALS, we all have physical and emotional scars, fragmented parts of ourselves that have imprinted into our soma and our psyche. They are not "bad", "wrong", or in need of "fixing"...but they DO point to where we may access more of our fullest expression of health. Fragments and Imprints from:
  • Childhood trauma, abuse or neglect
  • Attachment patterns around love, worth and belonging
  • Early messages and experiences around our body and sexuality

​As a COUPLE, scars and imprints from past individual and relational traumas may also be holding us back from a full and playful expression of physical intimate connection. Expansion is not just about learning new "tips and techniques". Consider that perhaps what is presenting as "high libido" , "low libido" and "mismatched desire" may actually be adaptive strategies based on threat physiology within our nervous system, developmental trauma, fragmented parts of our selves, and attachment patterns. Always at the speed of trust and attunement...together we will work to develop greater nervous system resilience, flexibility, and capacity. We begin with exploring what imprints, loops, patterns, perhaps painful restrictions or limitations are preventing you from full, free expression of YOU!
What we have believed, experienced and practiced over time, we have come to embody…literally. What generative new beliefs, experiences and practices can we install to create a whole new level of possibilities? THIS is where I may support you! And this also happens over a period of time.
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What is the Nature of This Scar/Adhesion/Pattern?
Biochemical • Biomechanical • Emotional • Existential

What is the Nature of This Trauma?
Chronic • Developmental • Relational • Cultural • Historical • Collective • Intergenerational 

WHOLE Bodywork = EMBODIED SELF

Safety + Titrated Activation + Back to Safety = Greater Capacity

People often ask, "What does a session look like?" Of course it is unique to each individual and couple. However, what remains consistent is that together we are always "mapping and tracking"...what is present and what is arising...moment-to-moment. We are noticing and exploring the "Seen and Unseen" aspects of what is inhibiting your fullest expression, and offering visceral feedback so the soma/body may re-member the native wisdom and essence of your Blueprint of Wholeness! (This may sound confusing....but there is a Part of you where this makes complete sense! I invite you to keep reviewing my website!)

What is shared below represents the arc of of a session. When working with couples, keep in mind that there are patterns and imprints that are arising in the individual field...AND the relational field. And within many layers and realms! This is why I work with individuals and couples over a period of time. And if you are not currently partnered, this work is a wonderful foundation to prepare you for calling in the connection, love, and sex that you desire and deserve!

​While much of my work with clients may include my scope of practice as a Sexological Bodyworker, I would say that the most important aspect of the work that I do with clients is informed by the extensive trauma training that I have done as an ongoing student of STREAM (scar tissue remediation of the "seen and unseen") and Alchemical Alignment (somatic skills for trauma resolution and the embodiment of Spirit). 
Because of the nature of this work, and the depth of space that is held: I never book more than 2 sessions a day; I never book more than 5 sessions a week; and never more than 15 sessions per month. I also only book 2 Immersion Retreats per month, as well. It is important that I am able to show up FULLY for you, communicate with and support you in between sessions, and allow myself ample time for self-care!

SAFETY:

Especially when it comes to our body and our sexual expression, it is likely that EACH of us has been exposed to negative scripts and messaging, and have experienced varying degrees of overwhelming situations in the past that activated our defense mechanisms and survival strategies. Therefore, begin with practices and exercises that guide us in mapping and tracking your nervous system. And we will always only go at a pace that is in accordance with what can easily be digested, assimilated, and integrated. We explore embodied consent and boundaries, sovereignty and agency. I want to be sure you are comfortable with both your “yes’s” and your “no’s”. 
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But to reemphasize...your session may look completely different...as your body, needs and nervous system might call for a very different unraveling, unfolding and process of evolving!
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​Perhaps "arriving and landing" in your body is a whole session! Perhaps feeling "safe in your body" is a new neuro-opportunity for you! And that would be HUGE! 

TITRATED ACTIVATION:

K....now that we have established a visceral sense of Safety, we can now begin with "small, doable pieces" of 'activation' within your nervous system...the tiniest means of 'provocation'. What then arises? What is your current capacity to "meet the moment"? Are we noticing a protective strategy that is arising? If so...we go back to Safety!

'Provocation' or 'Activation' can be related to a field of 'right distance', communication, or non-sexual touch (based on the work of Betty Martin), or a protocol created by Ellen Heed to explore where emotion is held in the tissue, "where muscle meets bone". Eventually touch that may include pleasure, the whole body, or expanded states of arousal. However, that does not come until some time down the road. We ALWAYS notice, track and go at the pace of the slowest part of you!
As we navigate incorporating 'small, doable pieces' of activation, we take a look at and always consider:
  • The history that gets shared via an Intake Form and an Intake Session (if partnered, each of you has a private Intake Session)
  • There are the conscious patterns and undesired experiences that brought you to my door.
  • There are the unconscious scripts and patterns that will be arising as you are held in a 'safe-enough',  non-judgmental space...unraveling at a pace that does not overwhelm your nervous system.
  • Deep Inquiries and Somatic Practices that "reveal" imprints and patterns, and also build new neural pathways towards greater capacity for a wider range of choices and experiences!
  • Exploring the various layers, levels and dimensions that have impacted our experiences and expressions
  • We are working within the realm of Neuroplasticity: "What Fires Together, Wires Together!"

BACK TO SAFETY:

'Provocation' and 'Activation' is a necessary aspect of transformation as you 'renegotiate' past overwhelm and incomplete defense responses within your body security system. 'Titration' means that we only provoke and activate in 'small, doable pieces'. As contraction or other defense patterns arise, we never judge or shame, but we witness and hold it with compassion and curiosity. 

​Again, we are mapping and tracking the state of your nervous system. What state are you currently in? Fight/Flight? Freeze? Dissociation? We even watch for appeasing or "going along with". Are you able to move back to a state of Safety with relative ease?

So many of us are in "successfully functioning" in a chronic state of nervous system 'dis-ease' (or Functional Freeze). Once you viscerally experience what 'embodied Safety' feels like in your system, you have a new reference point to keep returning to! Again and again!

GREATER CAPACITY:

What does it mean to have 'greater capacity'? It means we are expanding our "ROR": Range of resilience, relationship, resonance, regulation, reciprocity, rehabilitation. We are playing within a field of expanded possibilities when it comes to all of our delicious choices of Being, Connecting and Relating! Imagine how different sexual relating will be as you continue to deepen and expand into a full range of what sounds most delightful and satisfying to YOU?!

This does not have to mean you expand beyond what feels good in YOUR body and relating. It means you are able to notice, value and communicate your desires and boundaries, execute empowered voice and choice, and live a life that is most authentic and meaningful to YOU! And our sexuality is simply ONE of the expressions of our aliveness and joy!

​In "Parts Work" we can come to know (top-down) parts of our Self. When one experiences "hands-on" work or "direct-experience learning" there is a "bottom-up" visceral learning that is a coming back to Home, to Self. To our Essence. Our Blueprint of Health, what exists beyond our imprints. From Imprints to Re-Membering Blueprint. From Patterns to Presence.
And the good news is...is that this is a Lifelong Journey! There will always be new layers and levels of imprints that are ready/wanting to be known, witnessed, and integrated! And most importantly, there will always be new realms of possibility and potential. Imagine what will be possible when we as individuals, partnerships, families, communities, and cultures renegotiate imprints from previous lineages, times and realms?!
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Because of the nature of this work, and the depth of space that is held: I never book more than 2 sessions a day; I never book more than 5 sessions a week; and never more than 15 sessions per month. I also only book 2 Immersion Retreats per month, as well. It is important that I am able to show up FULLY for you, communicate with and support you in between sessions, and allow myself ample time for self-care!

Possible Session Explorations:
  • Body Mapping: A Tool for Healing & Empowerment
  • Erotic Blueprint™ Mapping/Pleasure Mapping
  • Scar Tissue Remediation: Working with the "Seen and Unseen"
  • Reorienting to Pleasure Post-Surgery, Postpartum and Post Menopause
  • Healing from Past Sexual Shame, Trauma or Abuse
  • Ejaculation Choice: Working with ED, PE and DE
  • Women's Pelvic Health: Pain, Prolapse and other Concerns
  • Prostate Education and Health
  • Expanded States of Pleasure
  • Tantra/Sacred Sexuality/Taoist Erotic Massage
* I work with ALL genders and orientations

General Flow of Healing & Transformation:

Transformation does not happen in a straight line. Think of spirals, outside of time and space even. We flow through these states within a single session, within a week, over a period of months, years....and even lifetimes. 
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  1. Safety/Regulation/Co-regulation/Attunement
  2. Assess Blockages/Adhesions/Tension Patterns/Scars (Seen and Unseen)
  3. When resolve blockages…what is now flowing? (That was previously numbed or dissociated from?) Track what is arising. Be with. Witness with Compassion...Tenderness...Care.
  4. Orienting back to Safety. Increasing Resilience and Capacity. Increasing Window of Presence.
  5. From Safety, getting Curious and Brave. (Possibly exploring Pleasure, Arousal, Expression of Being...depending on YOUR intentions and desires.)
  6. Breath. Sound. Movement. Touch. Awareness. Attention.
  7. Slowing Down. Attending to Sensations/Feelings/Emotions. Nuances. Subtleties.
  8. In Relational Touch/Communication Practices: Attunement. Tracking what arises.
  9. Orienting back to Safety, as need be.
  10. Increasing Capacity for more Stimulation/Stimuli/Novelty.
  11. Alchemization. Integration.
  12. Meeting/Connecting With Self. Meeting/Connecting with Other. Attunement to Self. Attunement to Other.
  13. Being Witnessed. Seen. Felt. Heard. Understood. LOVED!
  14. Living into the Fullest Expression of YOU! Moment to Moment.
Because of the nature of this work, and the depth of space that is held: I never book more than 2 sessions a day; I never book more than 5 sessions a week; and never more than 15 sessions per month. I also only book 2 Immersion Retreats per month, as well. It is important that I am able to show up FULLY for you, communicate with and support you in between sessions, and allow myself ample time for self-care!

Other Sessions May Include:

Let's connect to discuss the potential and possibilities of our work together. The following are still only a sample: 
  • Body Mapping/Pleasure Mapping
  • Pleasure Waves/Expanding Orgasmic Potential
  • Anal Mapping. Not JUST the anus, but the whole pelvis! "Super-Highway to the Parasympathetic Nervous System!"
  • Erotic Blueprint™ Mapping
  • Erotic Trance and Various States/Tantra
  • Sensual Kink/Power Dynamics
  • Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent. Who is the Touch For? Parsing out Giving/Receiving/Taking/Allowing
  • Notice, Name, Trust, Value, & Communicate Desires and Limits
  • Sensual Kink, Polarity/Power Dynamics, Sensual Rope
  • And so much more!